ביקורת לגבי טקסט פתיחה באנגלית

[Y@ir]

ביקורת לגבי טקסט פתיחה באנגלית

שלום, אשמח לקבל ביקורת/הערות/תיקונים בנוגע לטקסט פתיחה הבא: Welcome to YNT networks! In today's world, where computers are everywhere, and where everything is being handled by computers, communication is nessecary. We as a networking company understand this and we are here in order to help you make your computers communicate. We offer soluntions for all ranges of networking. We at YNT are willing to network your home, your office, or your organization. We employ a staff with wide knowledge and experience in the field of networking, who will help you, the client, set up the kind of networking you need. If you are intrested in what we have to offer, please contact us today. בתודה מראש, יאיר

 

[Y@ir]

ניסיון ליישור הטקסט לשמאל ...

Welcome to YNT networks! In today's world, where computers are everywhere, and where everything is being handled by computers, communication is nessecary. We as a networking company understand this and we are here in order to help you make your computers communicate. We offer soluntions for all ranges of networking. We at YNT are willing to network your home, your office, or your organization. We employ a staff with wide knowledge and experience in the field of networking, who will help you, the client, set up the kind of networking you need. If you are intrested in what we have to offer, please contact us today.​

 

[Knight of Darkness]

הטקסט עצמו נראה בסדר

אבל הניקוד...שורה רביעית, פסיקים: We, as a networking company, understand...

 

[bennyTKD]

2 הערות

איות - שורה אחרונה - interested ולא להשתמש כל כך הרבה פעמים במילה network... בני

 

[justmom]

הנה גירסה באנגלית קצת יותר.....

אנגלית?

Welcome to YNT networks! In today's world, with its ubiquitous computers that handle virtually everything, communiaction is a must. As a networking company we understand this, and would like to help you build and improve communication between your computers. We offer solutions for all ranges of networking, and are willing to network your home, office or organization. Our staff is highly knowledgable and experienced, and will help you, the customer, set up networking custom-made to your requirements. If interested in what we have to offer, please contact us at....​

 

[Y@ir]

תודה רבה רבה לכולכם !

עזרתם לי מאוד !