ayu messages 352-354
Auu~... No. 352 30 November 2008 7:05 AM Maro's photo was uploaded in Today's Photo, to my great delight, and I thought after having been on the computer for 2 hours that maybe I should do a post after that, but then I wasted time and then I went to sleep. So, having gotten impatient at 2:00 AM, after having wrongly guessed that it was about 2:00 PM or so (lunch time), this silly Hama-chon knew that midnight had already come once she came out YO!! See, I'd been having a REALLY nice dream, so when I woke up I thought I should go back to sleep and maybe continue the dream, but when I eventually did go back to sleep, it seems the dream had ended without me already. (lol) Now, if I may say what I've been up to... I've been working lyrics for a new song (not the one I recorded yesterday, it's another one). And it's really hard rock!!!!!! !! The beginning of it borrows your tension until the moment it really grabs it, LOL. But I was able to do good---- o/~ I'm happy with it (*^_^*) Aah! Which reminds me... Maro's T-Shirt doesn't have a deep V-neck today, sorry (lol)... next time look forward to it! Well, although I was interrupted halfway I can't seem to go back to sleep, so after this I'm gonna do the Christmas Tree decorating------!! o/~ This is work that I really really love doing every year. (lol) But some of my staff already are decorating trees everywhere. Just now I went ahead & counted them to see, and there are 6. I said, "6!!!" all serious & surprised. lol I thought should take a photo of whoever did the absolute most beautiful decorating~. Hence, the Today's Photo upload! -Hamachonchan. Going back to sleep... No. 353 30 November 2008 10:16 AM ...I thought I was going back to sleep??? haha I'm awake now~~~~~~ (^_-)* I should be slowly getting ready. Today again, under the same sky, everyone have a lovely day (*^_^*) Just barely made it... No. 354 30 November 2008 8:53 PM Today is the on-air date for the final japanese show in Yoyogi. I thought I could post something for you to read before the broadcast started if I dashed over here. But... I'm pretty sure this will take a long time to write, so it'll be fine for you to read it after the show has ended. While editing the show for tonight's broadcast, I reeeeeeeeeaaally remembered alot of things. Good things, bad things, everything. I was able to objectively look at the Yoyogi performance with fresh eyes, and then, with amazing speed, my memories of it all came back. But although it's not much, this one writing will not be the usual length, so since this is a serious matter and I'd like to explain it, please listen to me talk about the start of the tour... It was the day I said, "tomorrow rehearsal ends!". At last, we found ourselves at the starting line, the first day of the show was right around the corner, it was the big moment. Through my own imperfections & carelessness, I had an accident. I worked so hard experimenting on every single thing, desperately, for months. "One more day!!" I'd say, and that would be a mortifying day where I was mad at myself... But basically, at the time, I tried to understand completely that I didn't have the type of personality where I'd talk to other people about my personal feelings on things at all, and I needed to resolve that. But originally, in order to attack the places that weren't flawless, after the accident, I'd put practical questions up against this difficult situation. Of course, it wasn't possible for me to participate in what would be the last rehearsal. So yeah, the rehearsal was performed without me. I was very apologetic and regretful about it, which was really baseless, because I was in the hospital. So then that night, after the rehearsal was finished, I suddently got a phone call from Go-mi. He said, "You can't keep working so hard by yourself! Why do you think we're here?! We'd defend you to the very last no matter what!! So please, depend on us more!" He was seriously yelling at me. And immediately after this I got another call, this time from Peco. "Ayuchan," she said, "if there's something that's too much for your abilities, when it gets to be too much, we're all absolutely completely able to handle it. So it's okay." And before Yoyogi, Kayanocchi called many times even while I was crying, saying "All the guests are waiting for Ayu-chan, so we would like to play your songs. So we'll do what we can to keep trying until Yoyogi." She said this over & over again. These three people have been kindly watching over me for the last 10 years, so I've kept running alongside those three. But in these whole ten years, they'd never been able to share their emotions straight up with me. So my heart was incredibly shaken by it. How can I explain this... until that time, I was stubborly straining myself with everything, and at the moment I knew how they felt, I released myself. And then I got to thinking. If I have these members, we can absolutely struggle towards our goals together! I made a pledge to myself that when we start something, we should do it to the end!! So after making that decision from the bottom of my heart, when I saw all the members & many of the staff who were at Yoyogi, how do I say it... I was so thankful and felt so warm, that I absolutely believed that even if the curtains never opened, this tour would be absolutely amazing. So there were various things this year's tour started with.... And I just barely made it in time. I did pretty awesome writing this. If you read all the way through it, I thank you. See you later.
היא גם כותבת בשעות לא נורמליות XD.