משהו חמוד לשיפור מצב הרוח
הגרסא של LadyKate למה היה קורה אילו הדמויות של "זינה" היו נפגשות עם הדמויות של "אלי מקביל": Due to some strange disturbance in the cosmic force, a portal opens up and the entire staff of the law firm Cage & Fish is transported into Xenaverse. And that´s just as well, because it turns out that their services are badly needed. Gabrielle finds herself in court, sued by a warlord who claims that her skimpy outfits constitute sexual harassment, on the grounds that they unduly distract her opponents in battle and create a sexually hostile work environment for them. Ally and John Cage agree to take the case, though Ally has misgivings about it. Ally wonders if she should get a longer skirt for the duration of the trial. In the meantime, Richard Fish reads some of Gabrielle´s scrolls and gets ideas. He contacts Ares and tells him that he should sue Xena to collect what she owes him as part of their deal in Amphipolis. Ares says that he´s evolved beyond that kind of thinking. Richard: "Evolved? That, my friend, is just a word women have made up for what happens when they take your cojones away." Ling marches in and informs Ares and Richard that if such a suit is ever filed, she will take on Xena as a client and countersue on so many counts that Ares will spend the rest of his immortal life in court. Ling explains that nature intended for women to lead men around by their ... ahem ... other sword and there is nothing any lawsuits can ever do about that. Ares asks Ling if she has ever considered a career as a warlord. Ling says that she vastly prefers being a lawyer -- she still gets to do all the raping and pillaging she wants and she doesn´t have to break a sweat -- "I hate getting sweaty" -- or a fingernail. Virgil goes to court to show moral support for Gabrielle and is smitten with Ally when he sees her make her opening argument. After the hearing, he asks her out on a date. They seem to hit it off well -- until Ally, who has read a few of Gabrielle´s scrolls but has totally missed the part about Virgil´s parentage, makes a comment about "that bumbling idiot Joxer." Virgil storms out of the tavern and rides away in a huff. Ally tries to follow but suffers a setback when she slips off the saddle, gets her foot caught in the stirrup and gets dragged behind the horse, seriously messing up her hair. Ally´s secretary Elaine comes up with an exciting invention -- a round killing thing with sharp edges that returns to its owner after being thrown, and can even separate in two halves in flight. She wants to patent her invention but is crushed to find out that Xena already has exactly such a weapon. During a break in Gabrielle´s sexual harassment trial, Ally, looking a little worse for the Ally-drag and distraught over her romantic failure with Virgil, approaches Xena and talks about her love life being a disaster. She goes on and on about how tough it is to be a strong, liberated woman with a successful career and still find romance. Xena (looks over Ally´s skinny figure): "Would you like some food with your whine?" Ally walks away, fantasizing about ripping Xena´s head off. Ares zaps in and says tells Xena that he never thought he´d meet anyone more irritating than Gabrielle, but life´s full of surprises. As Gabrielle´s trial concludes, John makes the closing argument while dressed in an outfit identical to Gabrielle´s and tells the jury that it´s ridiculous to think that anyone would find such an outfit sexually provocative. The jury finds in favor of Gabrielle. The gang´s adventure in Xenaverse come to a quick end when Ares finds out that Ling is mobilizing war widows and orphans to file a class-action lawsuit against him, and zaps the staff of Cage and Fish back to Boston, year 2002.
הגרסא של LadyKate למה היה קורה אילו הדמויות של "זינה" היו נפגשות עם הדמויות של "אלי מקביל": Due to some strange disturbance in the cosmic force, a portal opens up and the entire staff of the law firm Cage & Fish is transported into Xenaverse. And that´s just as well, because it turns out that their services are badly needed. Gabrielle finds herself in court, sued by a warlord who claims that her skimpy outfits constitute sexual harassment, on the grounds that they unduly distract her opponents in battle and create a sexually hostile work environment for them. Ally and John Cage agree to take the case, though Ally has misgivings about it. Ally wonders if she should get a longer skirt for the duration of the trial. In the meantime, Richard Fish reads some of Gabrielle´s scrolls and gets ideas. He contacts Ares and tells him that he should sue Xena to collect what she owes him as part of their deal in Amphipolis. Ares says that he´s evolved beyond that kind of thinking. Richard: "Evolved? That, my friend, is just a word women have made up for what happens when they take your cojones away." Ling marches in and informs Ares and Richard that if such a suit is ever filed, she will take on Xena as a client and countersue on so many counts that Ares will spend the rest of his immortal life in court. Ling explains that nature intended for women to lead men around by their ... ahem ... other sword and there is nothing any lawsuits can ever do about that. Ares asks Ling if she has ever considered a career as a warlord. Ling says that she vastly prefers being a lawyer -- she still gets to do all the raping and pillaging she wants and she doesn´t have to break a sweat -- "I hate getting sweaty" -- or a fingernail. Virgil goes to court to show moral support for Gabrielle and is smitten with Ally when he sees her make her opening argument. After the hearing, he asks her out on a date. They seem to hit it off well -- until Ally, who has read a few of Gabrielle´s scrolls but has totally missed the part about Virgil´s parentage, makes a comment about "that bumbling idiot Joxer." Virgil storms out of the tavern and rides away in a huff. Ally tries to follow but suffers a setback when she slips off the saddle, gets her foot caught in the stirrup and gets dragged behind the horse, seriously messing up her hair. Ally´s secretary Elaine comes up with an exciting invention -- a round killing thing with sharp edges that returns to its owner after being thrown, and can even separate in two halves in flight. She wants to patent her invention but is crushed to find out that Xena already has exactly such a weapon. During a break in Gabrielle´s sexual harassment trial, Ally, looking a little worse for the Ally-drag and distraught over her romantic failure with Virgil, approaches Xena and talks about her love life being a disaster. She goes on and on about how tough it is to be a strong, liberated woman with a successful career and still find romance. Xena (looks over Ally´s skinny figure): "Would you like some food with your whine?" Ally walks away, fantasizing about ripping Xena´s head off. Ares zaps in and says tells Xena that he never thought he´d meet anyone more irritating than Gabrielle, but life´s full of surprises. As Gabrielle´s trial concludes, John makes the closing argument while dressed in an outfit identical to Gabrielle´s and tells the jury that it´s ridiculous to think that anyone would find such an outfit sexually provocative. The jury finds in favor of Gabrielle. The gang´s adventure in Xenaverse come to a quick end when Ares finds out that Ling is mobilizing war widows and orphans to file a class-action lawsuit against him, and zaps the staff of Cage and Fish back to Boston, year 2002.