../images/Emo187.gif המשך
I love your eyes…I love ‘his’ eyes. I speak about him as if he is already next to me. But he isn’t. I might as well be invisible. I can’t stay out here for much longer. The cold is slowly suffocating any warmth my body consumes. I head back towards the lane. He’s gone. I stare down at the space where he once rested upon. Sighing, I walk on up the lane and sneak back into school. Turning to my left, I wander in through the music room doors. Usually, If I feel the need to escape from my other classes, I seek refuge in the music department. It’s where kids like me tend to hide out in. You could say this is my second home. Although, I’m unsure of where my 1st home is anymore. And if I am even a part of that home anymore. My parents have never acknowledged my presence for years. I’m used to the silent treatment. It doesn’t stop it hurting inside, though. “Not in the mood for classes today?” I turn around to see Mr. Hastie smiling. “Not today, Sir.” I say and return a smile. “Our little secret, as always, Autumn.” He winked and disappeared into one of the music rooms. I made my way into music room 4. The lights were switched off and the place had consumed it’s own darkness. Feeling my way along the wall, I found the light switch and flicked it on. Throwing my bag down on the floor, I placed myself down onto the chair and began to rummage through my bag. Retrieving my notebook, I sat back in the chair and grabbed the pen out of the notebook. I scribbled down random things, mostly thoughts. But sometimes those thoughts transformed into songs. Running a hand down the side of my face, I drop the notebook to the floor and cross the room. Opening up the door to the other music room, I exit this one and enter the brightness of the other one. Frank’s POV I watch as she drops the notebook from her hands. It hit’s the floor, gently. I keep a steady eye and watch her as she leaves the room. Holding a frown. Holding that same sad smile that had consumed for a facial expression for many years. Opening up the door, I step into music room 4 and glance around the room. She won’t be back for a while. I know her routine. She comes in here, scribbles something down in that notebook, and then leaves for a little while. I’m always gone by the time she returns.. I’m filled with guilt each time I see her sad smile. She’s so innocent and so pure, and all I do is ruin her. I break her. I kill her inside. I know these things, I’ve read those messed up scribbles, I’ve read her thoughts but I still continue to do this. Be this person I’m not. I reach down and pick up the notebook. I stare down at the words and take them all in between easy breaths. Her words are so deep. And sometimes angry. Sometimes she just cries out. But no one is there to welcome her with open arms. No one is there to hold her close. If only she knew someone wanted to be there… Oh why cant I be what you need, A new improved version of me. But I’m nothing so good, No, I’m nothing. Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs, Of violence of love and of sorrow. I beg for just one more tomorrow, Where you hold me down fold me in, Deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins. I break in two over you, I break in two. And each piece of me dies, And only you can give the breath of life. But you don’t see me, you don’t... Here I’m in between darkness and light, Bleached and blinded by these nights, Where I’m tossing and tortured ‘till dawn, By you, visions of you then you’re gone. The shock lifts the red from my face, When I hear someone's taking my place. How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel, When all, all that I did was for you. I break in two over you, I break in two over you, over you, I break in two, I would break in two for you. I take one more glance over the words in front of me. Taking hold of the pen, I begin to write. I can hear her in the other room. She’ll be coming back soon. I keep on writing until I close over the notebook and place it back down on the floor where it was before. The music from next door subsides. I hurry out of the room and quietly close over the door. I watch her as she comes back in. Staring out of the window, I gaze at her for a few more moments before turning and walking away. Grabbing my school bag, I exit the music department and enter the cold air. In the distance I can see my friends. My friends? My friends are fakes. My friends don’t care about anyone else apart from their sad little selves. But I’m a fake too, so who am I to criticise? Exactly. Autumn’s POV Night falls and I’m back at home. I hear the sounds of my parents arguing. I hear my dad shout and soon I hear the sounds of my mum’s cries. He has ways with his fist, once you feel the pain of it collide into your face, you remain silent until he asks for you to speak. I haven’t broken my silence in this house since the first hit. It’s now past midnight. My room is practically in darkness, apart from the tiny flicker of light shining out from the faded light bulb. I open up my notebook and sigh. Flicking over to the second last page where I had previously wrote, I stare down at some words. Words I don’t recognise as my own. Sitting upright in the bed, I look closely and study the hand writing. You might be just what I need, No I would not change a thing. Been dreaming of this so long, But we only exist in this song. The thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow. And if you come and meet me tomorrow, I will hold you down, fold you in, Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live. I break in two over you, I break in two. And if a piece of you dies, Autumn, I will bring you back to life. Of course I see you, I do.
אין כמו הפאנפיק המלא והמקורי, זה רק תקציר.
פאנפיק השבוע הוא קצר יחסית, והנה הוא לפניכם, קריאה מהנה
