Things I cannot say in Shai´s forum
People say that they admire me because I am so strong I think that they are all blind I am not strong at all...I break to pieces all the time besides, how can you be strong when you lost your foundation? I keep thinking about last Tuesday morning...like every morning he left while I was feeding Sapir...like any other morning he asked: are you OK? can I go to work? and as always I said: I´m fine, you can go If I would only told him how tired I am, if I would only asked him to stay for the day... but I didn´t tell him, and so he didn´t stay... and he went to the top of that tower... and never came back yes, I am the one to blame... I could have saved him and I didn´t... and he deserved to be saved...more than anyone I know in this world, or any other world for that matter He loved me and he trusted me and I disappointed him... when the time came for the big test I told him he can go to work, I sent him to his death If I could only be there with him...hug him...die in his arms...I would have done it in an instant We were meant to be together forever and now I am here all alone there is no light at the end of my tunnel
People say that they admire me because I am so strong I think that they are all blind I am not strong at all...I break to pieces all the time besides, how can you be strong when you lost your foundation? I keep thinking about last Tuesday morning...like every morning he left while I was feeding Sapir...like any other morning he asked: are you OK? can I go to work? and as always I said: I´m fine, you can go If I would only told him how tired I am, if I would only asked him to stay for the day... but I didn´t tell him, and so he didn´t stay... and he went to the top of that tower... and never came back yes, I am the one to blame... I could have saved him and I didn´t... and he deserved to be saved...more than anyone I know in this world, or any other world for that matter He loved me and he trusted me and I disappointed him... when the time came for the big test I told him he can go to work, I sent him to his death If I could only be there with him...hug him...die in his arms...I would have done it in an instant We were meant to be together forever and now I am here all alone there is no light at the end of my tunnel