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מצ``ב מכתבו המשעשע של ``שם``, היישר מניו זילנד: Dear drinkking mates! I`m forwarding something of great wisdom! p.ss My regards from far away New Zealand. Subject: DRINKING I feel sorry for people who don`t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that`s as good as they`re going to feel all day. * Frank Sinatra The problem with some people is that when they aren`t drunk, they`re sober. * William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. * Ernest Hemingway Always do sober what you said you`d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. * Ernest Hemingway Time is never wasted when you`re wasted all the time. * Catherine Zandonella Drinking provides me with a beautiful excuse for pursuing the one activity that truly gives me pleasure-hooking up with fat, hairy girls. * Ross Levy A woman drove me to drink and I didn`t even have the decency to thank her. * W.C. Fields What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? * W.C. Fields When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. * Henny Youngman Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. * Michelle Mastrolacasa I`d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. * Tom Waits 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? * Stephen Wright When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let`s all get drunk and go to heaven! * Fr. Mickey McNutty You can`t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. * Frank Zappa Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. * Winston Churchill Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. * Benjamin Franklin If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it would make the beer shoot out your nose. * Jack Handy (a Deep Thought) Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. * Dave Barry Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. * Dave Barry The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. * Humphrey Bogart Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine. * David Moulton Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. * Kaiser Wilhelm Alright, brain-I don`t like you, and you don`t like me, so let`s just do this and I`ll get back to killing you with beer. * Homer Simpson If you realize that you should not be driving and you pull over to sleep it off, throw your keys as far into the ditch as you can. Replacing those keys will be a hell of alot cheaper than a DWI. * Jared A. Ludowese You`re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. * Dean Martin Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. * Anonymous You know you`re drunk when you fall off the floor. And God said, *Let there be vodka!,* and He saw that it was good. Then God said, *Let there be light!* And then He said, *Whoa - too much light.* Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862! Remember *I* before *E*, except in Budweiser. To some its a six-pack, to me it`s my Support Group. Scotch: Because one doesn`t solve the world`s problems over white wine. I`m not an alcoholic, I`m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings. _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.
מצ``ב מכתבו המשעשע של ``שם``, היישר מניו זילנד: Dear drinkking mates! I`m forwarding something of great wisdom! p.ss My regards from far away New Zealand. Subject: DRINKING I feel sorry for people who don`t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that`s as good as they`re going to feel all day. * Frank Sinatra The problem with some people is that when they aren`t drunk, they`re sober. * William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. * Ernest Hemingway Always do sober what you said you`d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. * Ernest Hemingway Time is never wasted when you`re wasted all the time. * Catherine Zandonella Drinking provides me with a beautiful excuse for pursuing the one activity that truly gives me pleasure-hooking up with fat, hairy girls. * Ross Levy A woman drove me to drink and I didn`t even have the decency to thank her. * W.C. Fields What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? * W.C. Fields When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. * Henny Youngman Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. * Michelle Mastrolacasa I`d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. * Tom Waits 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? * Stephen Wright When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let`s all get drunk and go to heaven! * Fr. Mickey McNutty You can`t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. * Frank Zappa Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. * Winston Churchill Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. * Benjamin Franklin If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it would make the beer shoot out your nose. * Jack Handy (a Deep Thought) Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. * Dave Barry Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. * Dave Barry The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. * Humphrey Bogart Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine. * David Moulton Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. * Kaiser Wilhelm Alright, brain-I don`t like you, and you don`t like me, so let`s just do this and I`ll get back to killing you with beer. * Homer Simpson If you realize that you should not be driving and you pull over to sleep it off, throw your keys as far into the ditch as you can. Replacing those keys will be a hell of alot cheaper than a DWI. * Jared A. Ludowese You`re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. * Dean Martin Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. * Anonymous You know you`re drunk when you fall off the floor. And God said, *Let there be vodka!,* and He saw that it was good. Then God said, *Let there be light!* And then He said, *Whoa - too much light.* Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862! Remember *I* before *E*, except in Budweiser. To some its a six-pack, to me it`s my Support Group. Scotch: Because one doesn`t solve the world`s problems over white wine. I`m not an alcoholic, I`m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings. _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.
