אממ מצאתי קצת
זה מאיזה ראיון שמצאתי באחד הפורומים: "I tried drugs under the guise that it's just recreational. I tended to do it when I drank. And then the reality of it hits you, that you're trying to make yourself numb just to function, you're getting loaded just so you can talk to people. I decided long ago to quit, I just hadn't got around to practising it. But then my daughter came along and I just never wanted to go back there. Now I just sort of dabble in wine. I'm really boring." וזה מהראיון הנהדר עם בפלייבוי DEPP: That wasn't really it. That's what was written, but we hadn't broken up yet, we were still up and down. It had more to do with me, with the difficulty of being inside my skin. I was doing what I could to numb that feeling, doing some in-depth poisoning. PLAYBOY: What were your poisons? DEPP: Pretty much anything I could ingest. And I was soused, drinking heavily, really doing myself in. When it gets constant, when you're going to sleep drunk, waking up and starting to drink again, that stuff will try to kill you. PLAYBOY: Did you think your vices would actually kill you? DEPP: At one point I was living on coffee and cigarettes, no food, no sleep. I was sitting around with some pals when my heart started running at 200 beats a minute. That's scary. You're mentally trying to slow down your heart, but you can't. It's like being on a plane when the bottom drops out--you drop a couple thousand feet and one second turns into eternity. You really do get all those family pictures in your head. And you feel so totally fucking alone. I was thinking of my grandfather on my mom's side, a great man I worshiped. His heart just exploded one day. When my heart started racing I hoped it was an anxiety attack, but when it went on for 45 minutes I knew it wasn't anxiety, it was all the shit I'd done to my body. My friends got me to the hospital, where I got a shot--boom, a shot that basically stops your heart for a second. I could feel myself curling up, going fetal. Then it was over. I got to go home. Now, there's an experience that'll scare you into shape. PLAYBOY: Did you swear off drugs and alcohol? DEPP: Well, I'm a little thick so it took a while. I eventually curbed my drinking. A few beers or a couple glasses of wine, that's not abuse. PLAYBOY: Is drug use always harmful? DEPP: It depends on the drug and the person. Some kids escape into sports. Some people go to the movies. Some escape with drugs. There's one school of thought that drugs are recreational; there's another school of thought that they can be therapeutic, a way to deal with problems. I think they're usually a crutch, a way to avoid problems. I have never known a junkie who got away, never seen one that heroin didn't get. But it always depends on the drug, doesn't it? Reefer, obviously, is fine. I have never seen a guy smoke a joint and get so stoned he had to beat the shit out of someone.
יש עוד המשך לראיון אני זוכרת...להביא את כולו?או שמצאת?
