פרק 12
We never did share that other afternoon. Summer vacation came and went and I knew we won't, either. He changed. I wanted to, but didn't. And my mother kept in good health. A part of me knows he never meant it the way I wanted him to mean it; that part also regrets the kiss I gave him. The rest of me resent me every time I brush my teeth because it means wiping my lips. That part of me also has a tendency of hearing what Chizuru said at the party. I… can't be with him. Because I'm not his type, because it wasn't meant to be, whatever the reason is, it won't happen. So at the very least, I decided. I'd stay by him. That hasn't worked either, so far. He's too far away, and we're too different in so many basic ways. Opposites might attract, but we're not even opposites, just… different. Watching him from afar… is all I have left now. I can still appreciate the irony, though, in light of what Tatsuki said to me back then. I think, I know what it means to lose someone now, because as far as I'm concerned, if only for that afternoon, I had him. He's more sensitive than most people care to think. He laughs like a kid. He's incredibly handsome when he's not frowning. He likes chocolate cupcakes. I'm selfish to think this pang in my chest whenever I see him can amount to how he too may feel. They all can say otherwise, but to me, it's one of the things that keep me going, and one of the things which will help me get over him – eventually. Maybe then I'll be able to actually talk to him without stuttering, without blushing. Without being… me. And he'll talk back to me, and enjoy my company, and we'll have our promised afternoon. And then we'll both laugh about how I bought my mother strawberries with the money he gave me.
